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A small Texas Wild Animal Park acquired a very rare species of gorilla.
Within a few weeks, the gorilla, who was a female, became very difficult to
handle. Upon examination, the park veterinarian determined the problem. The
gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla
available. Reflecting on their problem, the park administrator thought
immediately of Eddie Standen, a large redneck part-time intern, who was
responsible for cleaning the animal's cages.

Eddie, like most rednecks, had little sense, but possessed ample ability to
satisfy a female of any species. The park administrator thought they might
have a solution. Eddie was approached with a proposition. Would he be
willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00?

Eddie showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over
carefully. The following day, Eddie announced that he would accept their
offer, but only under the following four conditions:

1. "First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her on the lips." The
park administrator quickly agreed to this condition.

2. "Second," Eddie said, "you must never tell anyone about this." The park
administrator again readily agreed to this condition.

3. "Third," Eddie said, "I want all the offspring to be raised Southern
Baptist." Once again the administrator agreed.

4. And last of all Eddie stated: "You've got to give me another week to come
up with the $500.00"

--
Regardless of Public Law No. 109-162 I hereby affirm that it is probably my
intent to annoy the reader of this post. Get over it.

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Toolman Tim blabbered in 24hoursupport.helpdesk:

> A small Texas Wild Animal Park acquired a very rare species of
> gorilla. Within a few weeks, the gorilla, who was a female, became
> very difficult to handle. Upon examination, the park veterinarian
> determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters
> worse, there was no male gorilla available. Reflecting on their
> problem, the park administrator thought immediately of Eddie Standen,
> a large redneck part-time intern, who was responsible for cleaning the
> animal's cages.
>
> Eddie, like most rednecks, had little sense, but possessed ample
> ability to satisfy a female of any species. The park administrator
> thought they might have a solution. Eddie was approached with a
> proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00?
>
> Eddie showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter
> over carefully. The following day, Eddie announced that he would
> accept their offer, but only under the following four conditions:
>
> 1. "First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her on the lips."
> The park administrator quickly agreed to this condition.
>
> 2. "Second," Eddie said, "you must never tell anyone about this." The
> park administrator again readily agreed to this condition.
>
> 3. "Third," Eddie said, "I want all the offspring to be raised
> Southern Baptist." Once again the administrator agreed.
>
> 4. And last of all Eddie stated: "You've got to give me another week
> to come up with the $500.00"
>

LOL

--
Your mother was a dustbin-inhabiting bugbear who used to bury treasure in
the gutter.

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"Toolman Tim" <frack.this@no.spam.invalid> wrote in message
news:o7fAf.16447$JA.1198@fe02.lga...
>A small Texas Wild Animal Park acquired a very rare species of gorilla.
> Within a few weeks, the gorilla, who was a female, became very difficult
> to
> handle. Upon examination, the park veterinarian determined the problem.
> The
> gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla
> available. Reflecting on their problem, the park administrator thought
> immediately of Eddie Standen, a large redneck part-time intern, who was
> responsible for cleaning the animal's cages.
>
> Eddie, like most rednecks, had little sense, but possessed ample ability
> to
> satisfy a female of any species. The park administrator thought they might
> have a solution. Eddie was approached with a proposition. Would he be
> willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00?
>
> Eddie showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter
> over
> carefully. The following day, Eddie announced that he would accept their
> offer, but only under the following four conditions:
>
> 1. "First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her on the lips." The
> park administrator quickly agreed to this condition.
>
> 2. "Second," Eddie said, "you must never tell anyone about this." The park
> administrator again readily agreed to this condition.
>
> 3. "Third," Eddie said, "I want all the offspring to be raised Southern
> Baptist." Once again the administrator agreed.
>
> 4. And last of all Eddie stated: "You've got to give me another week to
> come
> up with the $500.00"
>
LOL! Didn't see that one coming!
> --
> Regardless of Public Law No. 109-162 I hereby affirm that it is probably
> my intent to annoy the reader of this post. Get over it.
>

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Toolman Tim wrote:
snip humour

lol
--
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as
members. Groucho Marx

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Toolman Tim wrote:
> A small Texas Wild Animal Park acquired a very rare species of gorilla.
> Within a few weeks, the gorilla, who was a female, became very difficult t
o
> handle. Upon examination, the park veterinarian determined the problem. Th
e
> gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla
> available. Reflecting on their problem, the park administrator thought
> immediately of Eddie Standen, a large redneck part-time intern, who was
> responsible for cleaning the animal's cages.
>
> Eddie, like most rednecks, had little sense, but possessed ample ability t
o
> satisfy a female of any species. The park administrator thought they might
> have a solution. Eddie was approached with a proposition. Would he be
> willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00?
>
> Eddie showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter ove
r
> carefully. The following day, Eddie announced that he would accept their
> offer, but only under the following four conditions:
>
> 1. "First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her on the lips." The
> park administrator quickly agreed to this condition.
>
> 2. "Second," Eddie said, "you must never tell anyone about this." The park
> administrator again readily agreed to this condition.



Hey...I thought you were not going to tell anyone about this!!!!!

<g>

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Toolman Tim wrote:

(snip)

>
> 4. And last of all Eddie stated: "You've got to give me another week to co
me
> up with the $500.00"
>

I'm just surprised he didn't ask for staff discount.

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In news:U5ydncSnepx9TEzeRVn-qA@cablespeedwa.com,
OldKenGoat spewed forth:
> "Toolman Tim" <frack.this@no.spam.invalid> wrote in message
> news:o7fAf.16447$JA.1198@fe02.lga... 
> LOL! Didn't see that one coming!
>
Me either - that's why I had do share it <g>!

--
Regardless of Public Law No. 109-162 I hereby affirm that it is
probably my intent to annoy the reader of this post. Get over it.

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In news:Z8rAf.105199$7p5.30757@newsfe4-win.ntli.net,
Brian H¹© spewed forth:
> Toolman Tim wrote:
>
> (snip)
> 
>
> I'm just surprised he didn't ask for staff discount.

<VBG>

--
Regardless of Public Law No. 109-162 I hereby affirm that it is
probably my intent to annoy the reader of this post. Get over it.

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In news:roydnf0ZN6LbuE_enZ2dnUVZ_sSdnZ2d@athenet.net,
philo spewed forth:
> Toolman Tim wrote: 
>
>
>
> Hey...I thought you were not going to tell anyone about this!!!!!
>
> <g>

Oh - sorry - I thought you had the weekend off...

--
Regardless of Public Law No. 109-162 I hereby affirm that it is
probably my intent to annoy the reader of this post. Get over it.

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On Sat, 21 Jan 2006 07:41:46 -0800, Toolman Tim wrote:
[vbcol=seagreen] 

STAFF discount, huh? STAFF. Yock yock yock.

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